Love yourself this Christmas: a guide to treating yourself right.

What a gem. We should all take her advise. Thanks @littlegreybox !

Little Grey Box

I looked at my calendar yesterday and realised just how close we are to the end of the year. Where did that come from? How did that happen so fast? Christmas again, already?! This time last year I was going through the usual end of year wind down, you know, feeling like you’re holding on for dear life just trying to make it to the holidays. You’re attending Christmas parties and feel like you’ve got a million things going on and very little time to do them all.

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling a little bit burnt out and tired. Initially, part of me felt guilty for thinking I could be burnt out and tired, I told myself I didn’t deserve to feel tired because I love what I do. The ‘old’ me would have allowed that little put down to slip on by, but the ‘new’ me…

View original post 1,284 more words


Macho Man

So I haven’t been a member at the gym for very long, but I think I have an idea of what is proper gym etiquette and what isn’t.

Now, I’m going to tell you a little story about my encounter with Macho Man today.

I hopped on the elliptical and started my typical routine. About three minutes in, Macho Man comes out of nowhere and gets on the one right next to me. Uhh.

First of all: these machines are entirely too close to one another for comfort and whoever made the decision  to space them with so little space a apart should rethink it.

Second,  there were three other machines available further down, but he chose the one at my side. Great. This to me, is an example of improper gym etiquette.

My heart rate increases, and it’s not due to the workout.

I size him up immediately, as much as I can without turning my head or making eye contact. He looked something like this:


For those of you who don’t follow WWE, this is John Cena. The only reason I know who this guy is may in fact be due to a brief and unfortunate time in my life where I dated a guy who was really into wrestling. Now, that being said, I cannot deny that I find John Cena attractive, ya know, in that totally macho, douchebagish, kind of way.

Meanwhile John Cena look-alike is also sizing me up. And he’s not trying to be discreet about it, either. Another example of improper etiquette — staring.

I keep going, trying to ignore him and focus on the rock music video in front of me, but it’s hard because I forgot my earphones so it’s just a bunch of silent guys with their mouths open, and weird images of statues with burning heads.

I note that Macho Cena is barely moving. If he were on the ground, he’d be in a slow motion walk or something. I’m not sure what that was about. He continues to glance my way, I continue to run in place for about eight minutes.

Then suddenly, he’s getting off. Done already? He’s only been here eight minutes. And it occurs to me. Oh. He doesn’t use these machines, except maybe to hit on women. He was hoping…

I hear him say, “Have a great workout.”

Shit. I have to acknowledge him now. 

I look at him quickly, but long enough to notice his super white teeth and altogether nice smile…

Improper etiquette is speaking to someone after the fact, having not said hello or having any other conversation prior, when clearly I am ignoring you and don’t want to be bothered. I mean, come on man.

“Yeah,” I say, smile back, and that’s that.

He’s gone, and I continued my workout in solitude. Phew. I successfully sidestepped that one.

Not only have I now witnessed an example of bad gym etiquette, but I have learned something about myself. I am not ready to start talking to other men. I am not ready to even acknowledge that other men are out there. I would much rather stare straight ahead no matter what is in front of me than potentially have a conversation with a potentially nice guy, even if he is John Cena’s doppelganger.

Even now as I’m writing this, I’m wondering if maybe he wasn’t being rude at all and I was just using that as my excuse for not speaking with him. He was intimidating. The fact that we were at the gym makes it even more intimidating. He was obviously interested. I’m just not there yet. I don’t know if or when I will ever be at the place where I can think about other guys. I’ve considered it a few times…I’ve been asked on a few dates, but I’m just. not. interested.



Control. Spontaneity. Adventure. Life plans. Fate.

To date or not to date?


So I had some free time the other morning before work and decided I would watch a cheesy Christmas movie via one of the best inventions man has come up with yet, Netflix. I Flix on the Net quite regularly.

The main character is a young professional woman in the city. She has a good life, but she’s not quite happy with the way some events have turned out…not everything was going according to her life plan. She had broken up with her boyfriend of two years (sound familiar?) was living alone, and tired of it. She decides she is going to win her ex back by Christmas, and they will  get on with her plan. Basically, she’s a control freak who is afraid of being alone.


So of course I find myself relating to this chick, and I realize just. how. contradicting. and. sometimes. controlling. I can be.

Hmm. The movie continues on with this girl not getting what she wants in the end, but figuring out that her life is actually great, she’s not alone, and she gets what she needs. I got a dose of “hey, life isn’t about plans, it’s about living!” and “hey, live in this moment and be thankful!” and another big spoonful of “hey, it’s not all about you!” Of course, those aha moments aren’t always easy to swallow, but as Mary Poppins believed, a spoonful of (in this case, cheesy holiday chick-flick) sugar helps the medicine go gown.

I took a personality test once which told me that I was a triple sanguine flagmatic. Right. So the sanguine part means that I don’t like to be alone, I am spontaneous, emotional, easy-going, optimistic, and adventurous. Triple that, and I could be all over the place and really crazy out of control (I know some people like this, bless their hearts) BUT, the flagmatic part, tones all of that down so that I have a very logical/realistic side, that looks ahead to the future and likes to make plans.

Being the eldest of three also means, I can be bossy. I admit it. I’m bossy. And opinionated. And I think I’m always right. But that’s not really where I’m going with this…

What this really all means, is that I am constantly in a place of contradicting myself. I have contradicting wants/desires. I act on impulse and immediately regret it after I have thought it through. I want to live in the moment, but plan the rest of my life out in month increments. I want to see the world, but save money and be close to relatives. I want to live in the excitement of the city, but often dream of a house in the country. I want to be married, but also want to sleep in my own bed alone with sheets that stay tucked in at the foot of it. That last one makes me giggle.

So, basically I’m kind of always a hot mess over here. Except, I’m really good at hiding it…at least I think. I’ve gotten better at taking a minute to decide which things I want more, and just going with that, knowing full well that one part of me is going to just have to give up. And that’s Okay.

The crazy thing is that usually, I don’t even get what I want anyway. And that makes me giggle even more.

All of that being said, here is what I think. In the end, we can make all of the plans in the world, but most of them aren’t going to pan out exactly the way we thought or wanted them to. We don’t have control of everything…actually, we have control of very little of what happens to us. Call it fate, call it God, call it life, karma…whatever you want. But, it’s true. The only thing we have REAL control over is how we react.

This is your Selah moment.

I don’t believe plans are bad. Plans are good to have a sort of outline, but we need to understand that plans will and do change. We have to adjust and continue on and choose happiness. And if there is an important person in our lives, we have to make space for their plans. When you love someone, you share plans, put the puzzle pieces together to make a conjoined, new and creative plan that will always be changing. Plans change because we change. Actually, isn’t that kind of exciting?! It’s like Legos!


Peter Pan and Laura Ingalls

Somewhere at my Mom and Dad’s house there is an old VHS sitting in a stack of other home videos, covered in dust, of one of my birthday parties. Not sure, but I’m just turning one of the ages between 2 and 5. All of my family is gathered around the dining room table watching me open presents. Birthdays are a big deal when you’re little. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and Grandparents all come to celebrate with your parents, watch you make a mess of cake, and open gifts. Everyone laughs and gives you kisses on the cheek. At this particular birthday my Meemaw had given me a card and put  $5 in it. Mom helped me open it and gave me the card. When I saw the green bill my eyes opened wide, my tiny jaw dropped, and I exclaimed with a gasp, “Fifty dollars!?”

If only, while growing up, we could see life the way I saw that five dollar bill. To me, getting five dollars felt like fifty. I was overwhelmed at the gift, having no experience with money, and nothing else to compare it to. Of course, it was probably spent on Barbies, or something but that’s not the point.

What I’m NOT saying is that we should pretend we have more money than we actually do, no, that’s just living in a fantasy and could get you into a lot of trouble. Live within your means, people. What I’m saying is…

This past week was all about Thankfulness. We took a day to realize what we have is actually more. Most of us spent the day with families, eating lots of food, watching football, and then drove home uncomfortably full. But isn’t Thanksgiving more than that? Didn’t you feel a small sense of wonder and gratefulness at what you’ve been given? Wasn’t there a prayer in your heart of Thanksgiving to God for your loved ones, and all that delicious stuffing? Did you not think of others who may have so much less, who were alone and hungry? Didn’t your 5 dollar bill feel like 50?

I certainly hope so.

Peter Pan didn’t want to grow up. I get it, believe me. But, I think he missed an important element. Growing up doesn’t mean losing your childlike wonder, enthusiasm,  simplicity, or optimistic  outlook on life….it means, not spending your five dollars on toys. It means realizing the value of your five dollars, and how it could quite easily turn into fifty. It means realizing that others would kill for your five dollars.

Do you get what I’m saying?

What does your five dollars look like? What do you have to be grateful for? What are you going to do with it? Are you going to sit on it and let it go to waste? I hope not. Are you going to invest it in a life that you can look back on at the end and say, “I really lived.” Are you going to share it?

This past month, I’ve done a lot of growing up. I’m finding that balance between the child in me, and the woman. We never stop growing up. That’s a good thing. Keep on moving on. Take leaps, make big decisions, face your fears, use what you have wisely, learn from your mistakes, have faith….but don’t forget to grab the hand of the little one inside you to remind you…