General Tso

Mondays…this one wasn’t like the usual. A lack of sleep had me waking up late, and throwing my hair up in a bun. That’s what I do when I’m on day 3 hair. Yes, I typically wash my hair every 3 days. Why? Because I’m too lazy to wash it every day. It’s thick and long and washing it is such a chore. Anyways…

I was surprisingly busy with customers this morning. Really…who likes to shop on a Monday before 12? Not I.

So that happened.

And I drank a lot of coffee because I was cold.

And then,something  absolutely crazy happened.

I had a craving for Chinese food.

If you know me, you will be just as amazed as I was.

I was standing there, talking to an associate about foods, and it hit me.

So on my way home I drove several miles out of the way to stop at a dumpy restaurant called Panda something or other, and ordered waaay too much noodles, rice, and General Tso. When the really nice cashier showed me the combination plate it was all over. I was so excited to get home and dip my fork into all that greasy, saucy, goodness, and it smelled tantalizing in the car.

I threw on my sweats, started Netflix, and dug in. Oh, it tasted amazing at first. The oriental flavors made my mouth water…

and then about halfway through the first carton, I remembered why I never eat Chinese food.

30 minutes later, I’ve  barely made a dent in all those fried carbs, I’m light headed, and my hands are shaky. After about 10 bites it all started to lose its flavor, and after about 13 I could hardly stand the smell anymore. Now it’s all sitting in my fridge…and the thought of eating it tomorrow repulses me.


“Why?” I ask myself. I don’t like Chinese and I never have. Where did that craving come from? I can’t tell you. Maybe my body was confused…maybe it thought it wanted Chinese when really it wanted Greek. Or, maybe it thought that Lo Mein is similar to peas…I hated them as a kid, but now enjoy them. Maybe it’s due to the monthly cycle, or my recent breakup, or the time change, or maybe it’s maybelline. I don’t know.

Now I’m going to sit here and think about what I’ve done.

Thanks for nothing, General Tso.  At least the cashier was really nice.


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