“I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn’t know you had inside you. And it doesn’t matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends… you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he’ll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you’ll go somewhere new. And you’ll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.”

– Iris, The Holiday

This has been one of my favorite quotes since I first watched The Holiday back in 2008. At that time, I found myself relating to the character Iris in such a way that it was almost healing. I would cry, and the beautiful music would soothe me. I became almost obsessive with the franchise for about 2 months — buying the soundtrack and blasting it in my car, making mom and all my friends watch it with me, and writing the quotes in my journal.

For the past two years, I had hoped that Iris would remain a part of my past, but, once again, I find her resonating with me in a profound way. I woke up with that miserable loneliness hanging over me like a hazy, grey cloud and new immediately that I would relish escaping into that movie world, yet again.

I went down into the basement to search through my unpacked boxes, and somehow it was misplaced in the move. No worries, I stopped at Target a midst my errands (as is often the case) and there it was, nestled in the $5 movie section. The film that has helped me through the grieving process of 3 broken relationships has been reduced to the price of a Big Mac Meal. Well, that’s OK, it’s easier on my wallet, but for all of you brokenhearted, newly single women out there…this movie is worth $50 for what it will do to your heart.

So, take the advise of Iris: join a gym, drink chardonnay with your girlfriends, do something that makes your feel beautiful, but most of all…give it time. Some of us have been here before, we fought the fight for our love, and we lost. Time will heal, I promise. Just breathe those roses in deep.

– Bek


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